Preach

Sometimes it's good to step away and compose your thoughts, get yourself centered, and figure out what you want to do next. Lately, I am in a constant state of figuring things out with all aspects of my life. Things are changing, all for the best no doubt, but with that comes a total adjustment period. My blog is no exception. Sometimes creating content is so easy, then other times I get a block or hate what I have come up with. 

I stumbled across Jenna Lyon's Life Rules in the first issue of Porter ( Net-A-Porter's first ever magazine) and was really taken with her no nonsense, honest approach. Often times I don't take someone with her star power very seriously but her success story is one of decades of hard work, listening to her gut, and not compromising. For me, numbers 2 and 6 were especially captivating.

Now I'm certainly no Jenna Lyons, but reading her honest approach to life helped ground me a little and give me that little boost I needed to get my head straight. What do you think about Jenna's rules? Are there any other people's rules/mantras/credos that really resonate with you? I'd love to hear about them! xx

{image via Porter}

A Few Updates

Blogging is something I have wanted to get back into for a while now, and I really feel like I'm starting to get the hang of it again. This is my creative outlet and a place to share things that inspire me. Some days creating content happens in mere minutes while other days I feel like I am racking my brain to come up with something people would actually want to read. 

With that in mind, I have decided to keep a steady post schedule of 3-4 times a week. I really want to produce quality content and I think slowing down and really focusing on a few good posts will allow me to do just that. There are some really amazing bloggers out there that can balance dozens of spinning plates, but I can only do a few at a time if I want to do them well. 

On that note I have so exciting news to share: I will be a weekly contributor to Sweet Lemon Magazine starting this week! I'm so excited to work with all the great talent at Sweet Lemon, and come up with some fun content for them. When you have time hop on over to Sweet Lemon Magazine's site and check out the latest issue!

I'll be posting some new content tomorrow, but in the mean time let's keep in touch!

Twitter: @alib1106
Facebook: Ali Bentolila
Pinterest: Ali Bentolila
Instagram: alibento
Email: alittlelovelier@gmail.com

Failure

Fail: to be or become deficient or lacking; be insufficient or absent; fall short

It’s one of those weeks were I seem to fail at everything. Something goes wrong at work and it’s seen as a failure. I feel like I have failed as a friend for not being as good about keeping up. And it seems that I have failed pretty miserably at being a girlfriend lately. I think I just need to unplug and recharge for the next few days. So I’m taking a break from the blog, social media, and distractions to do a little “detox” if you will. I’ll be back Monday hopefully feeling energized and ready to fix what needs fixing and mend what needs mending. Have a great weekend!

FOMO

In college, everyone has FOMO (fear of missing out) to some degree. It’s probably safe to say a few years after your graduate you still have that mentality. FOMO is something my friends and I used to joke about. Thankfully the “always need to go out” type of FOMO or Social FOMO has subsided a little, but now there different strains of this epidemic. It used to be just social FOMO, but now Gen Y-ers have Digital FOMO, Work FOMO, and Diet FOMO. Overwhelmed yet? You’re not alone. In this article from Refinery 29, Nicole Catanese identifies, categorizes, and breaks down the unhealthy side effects of FOMO. 

The constant need to update everyone on what we are doing at all times, and in turn incessantly checking what everyone else is doing have created this phenomenon. We're codependent on social media. We’re addicted to our devices, fear how others view us in the work setting, worry about missing out on a potentially memorable event, and put ourselves on restrictive non-sustainable diets to fit the mold. I’m exhausted just reading that last sentence.

Is there a cure for FOMO? I think the first step is identifying which type you are afflicted with (mine would be digital), and go from there. My boyfriend and I have a nasty habit of constant device checking and whipping out our iPads at the drop of a hat. I’ve asked myself why I feel the need to know what is going on at all times, and the only thing I can think of is because I can and God forbid I should miss something I really need to know (doubtful).

The only conclusion I can draw from this admission of guilt is that I need to unplug, get off the grid and just recharge. There is always going to be someone doing something more fun, going someplace more fabulous, and living a life that looks more ideal than mine. Honestly, none of those things are going to kill me or negatively affect me long term. Comparison is the thief of joy and while we all now have a lot more ways to constantly compare ourselves, maybe we should just power off and appreciate all the great things we do have.

Photo by Refinery 29

Confessions of a Former Social Butterfly

I have always considered myself to be a very social person. I’m as extroverted as they come, and always had plenty of friends through each stage of my life. But now here I am at 27 and while I have several really good friends, even a few best friends, I’m without a go to. What I mean by a go to is that one friend you can call up at any time to go grab a drink, get a pedi, meet for brunch on a whim, or just have over to watch something embarrassing like Pretty Little Liars with. My closest friends are spread along the east coast, but the occasional phone calls, Gchats, emails, and group texts really only get you so far. Who doesn’t want a Laverne to their Shirley? I feel like now more than ever I want that go to person.

I didn't realize how much I was missing out for many reasons, but one in particular is having a serious boyfriend. He is my best friend and with that comes a lot of time spent together. I wouldn't trade him or the time we get to spend together for the world, but I know something is missing and that’s girlfriends. We work pretty hard to not be isolated and do our own thing weekly, but at the end of the day usually most of our week is spent with each other in some capacity.

I’ve come to the fairly harsh realization that I just don’t have as many friends anymore, at least not in close proximity. I have been trying to boost my social life by reconnecting with old friends, coworkers, and anyone who may even seem like they would be interested in hanging out. These “catch ups” have been fun, but they still never turned into those blossoming friendships that occurred when you met a random girl in your dorm and she asked you if you wanted a beer. So what gives? Am I the only 27 year old without a crew? I didn’t think so since I have asked other friends and a few are in the same boat as I am. I did a little research and found a really poignant article from the New York Times on the subject. In the article, Alex Williams explores why it’s so hard to make friends after a certain age. Williams writes:

“As people approach midlife, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Schedules compress, priorities change and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends. No matter how many friends you make, a sense of fatalism can creep in: the period for making B.F.F.’s, the way you did in your teens or early 20s, is pretty much over. It’s time to resign yourself to situational friends: K.O.F.’s (kind of friends) — for now.”

While it was comforting to know that this is pretty normal for people and I could relate to becoming pickier in what you want in a friend, it just made me realize that I now have to put in effort to make friends. Ugh. Now begins my quest if you will to create meaningful, lasting friendships. I am trying fairly traditional routes to meet new people: book club, joining a ladies service organization, and setting up couple dates in the hope that I hit it off with someone’s significant other. I’m not at the point where I want go the route of Rachel Bertsche in MFW SeeksBFF, but who knows maybe I will resort to going on “friend dates.” I’m not ruling anything out at this point.

To sum it up I just want it all; the friends, the bestie, the boyfriend, the size 2 dress size… I’ll save that for another post. That sounds incredibly idealistic, but I’m still under the assumption that I can have an awesome social life and a great relationship. TBD…

Going Live

I'm taking the plunge... and blogging again. It's been about three years since I last blogged and although I have toyed with the idea for over a year now, I finally got the balls to just go for it. Does anyone care what I have to say? Probably not, but I'm going to write anyway... for now.

My hope for this blog is to be my creative outlet where I can post, teach, learn, engage, and even rant if I feel like it. There are hundreds of thousands of "lifestyle" blogs out there and while I enjoy those, I hope that I don't fit the mold of that type of blog. While I read many lifestyle blogs and appreciate their purpose, I saw a void in the "LIFE" part of lifestyle. For those bloggers that get to play dress up and have fabulous very full social schedules, I think that is awesome and I am pretty envious of you. But for me, and my lifestyle for that matter, that's not how it goes down at all. The fact is I am pretty unglamorous, and I think a lot of people can relate to that.  Sure I am interested in clothes and home decor, but I am also really interested in whole living, food and cooking, and finding overall balance in my day to day life. I don't know about you, but I haven't really found a place where all of those topics come together in way that I can relate to. Out of that search came the idea to make a place where I could make that happen.

My goal is to live happier, healthier, and more consciously and that is exactly what I intend to write about. Maybe I can inspire someone and hopefully many will inspire me. Overall it's about living with purpose, and to living life a little lovelier.